As I walked into the laboratory, I glanced around to see if
the chief scientist was near. Eyeing nobody and feeling famished, my nefarious
motives moved me further into the area of operation. I had been warned by the
chief scientist to refrain from experimenting so soon before it was time to reconsume
energy that evening. But I had to indulge myself. I hadn't had any energy since
noon.
Pondering what might be the most immediate satisfying
solution to my stomach cravings, I considered the options. Not enough time for
something lengthy to prepare, for the chief scientist might discover me. And
the stores of cheap, quick Pop-Tarts were depleted. I needed to concoct
something easy, something sticky yet fruity. Something layered between two
quantities of wheat. There remained one choice: the PBJ!
After locating a saucer upon which to begin my secret
experiment, I scoured the cupboards for my first ingredient: peanut paste! That
mashed mess of nutty beans are excellent appetizers on a post-lab eating binge.
Pulped goober peas are crunchy, full of nuts. Not like that emasculated peanut spread
some people prefer.
I set the cylinder on the lab table and moved on to the
second necessary component. The smothered fruit preserves would do nicely for
this particular test. I passed the blood-red colored jar and selected the purple
tainted goop. Opening the lid, I was relieved to find there was enough for the
experiment. (Sticks finger in jar and scoops out some.) Grape guts. (Eats
portion of jelly on finger.) Mmmm…
Having obtained the bodily organs pertinent to my creation,
I headed on to the final piece. I went to the gluten bank and converged on the
carbohydrate-filled sponges that were available in times of need. And I was in
need, for in no way was the experiment going to be quick or complete without
two slices of this spongy-growth.
AT LAST! The materials assembled, I proceeded to concoct my
creation under quiet experimentation. I began by placing the rectangular loaves
parallel to each other. Then, placing a scalpel on the table, I took the
container of discombobulated peanuts and used the scalpel to extract a proper
portion from the container. (Smells container.) Ooh, I could smell the results
already.
Taking the goober covered scalpel, I swiped the spread onto
the sponge, thus nearly filling in each tiny hole on the porous surface. I
repeated the system with the pectin-jelled fruit product, completing the maneuver
upon the other slice of sponge. Then, setting down the scalpel, I took each
sponge in each hand, smashing them together, and enjoyably tested the delicious data. It was at
that crucial moment of discovery that the chief scientist opened the door to
the lab.
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